Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goal completed

Three hundred and sixty five posts in one year. 


That's a lot of posts. 


I didn't think I had that much to say.


Thanks for sticking with me and for all of the comments throughout the year.


Perhaps I will post tomorrow... 


Perhaps I will take a break...


I guess we will find out together.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Christmas 2011: part two

Christmas Morning


Presents and stockings from Santa.


Lila got her new dolly.


Jake got his DS, not XL as requested.


Evie got her American Girl doll that looks like her.


Lila could not be convinced at first that it was worth waking up to see what Santa brought. 
(She really wasn't feeling very well.)


Waiting for the okay to come running up the stairs!


Evie was thrilled with her new dolly.


Lila cheered up considerably when she found a Minnie Mouse toy in her stocking.


Jake loved it all! 

Did you notice the red heart pillows with arms? 
Ikea. $5. 
The kids have been begging for these for months now. 
How did Santa know?
He sees you when you're sleeping...


Brian and Jake loved the remote control cars they got from Lila and can't wait to take them out for a spin.

Opening the presents under the tree was so much fun this year, because the kids were equally excited to see how people liked what they had picked out to give them. (Especially Evie, she also had a handmade gift under the tree for each of us. I think she is going to take after her Mama in that respect.)

I do want to mention the neat surprises that I got to unwrap, since I gushed so much about how I was looking forward to it. 

Brian gave me the Kindle and a gift card so I could download some books for it, and Zumba for the Wii (which apparently was Jake's idea...)
Evie gave me a nice red case for my Kindle.
Jake gave me the last three books in the Fablehaven series.
And Lila?
Lila gave me a Winnie the Pooh stuffed bear that she picked out all by herself, and has since snuggled for me every night since. 

And just as I thought, even though these might not have been the gifts I would have picked out for myself, I absolutely love each and every one.  


Thursday, December 29, 2011

Christmas 2011: part one

I was going to put off doing this post yet again, when I noticed that I only have three more nights before the year is out, so without further ado...

 Christmas 2011
  a photographic essay in two posts

This year we brought back the tradition of acting out the nativity story. (After the borderline sacrilegious rendition of Baby in da Hood in '05, the grown-ups said no more.)


Jake was the narrator.


Patrick as Joseph, Evie as Mary, and baby Clark (Cecily and Justin's four month old) as baby Jesus. 
There weren't enough children for all the parts so some of the grown nieces and nephews were very kind to step in and fill the rolls. 


Lila was the Angel of the Lord.


Nativity Cast 2011

After the nativity we put on a video from Christmas 2005. We just watched the first one that worked in the player, and so I was completely unprepared for the first thing on the screen to be my mom talking. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. (Poor Jake just fell apart and spent most of the movie sobbing into my armpit.) To me it made it feel like she was there and taking part in our Christmas celebrations again. 

Just as the movie ended the door opened and there was jingle bells shaking and a loud, "HO HO HO!"


SANTA!
Lila ran right up and hugged his leg and said, "Santa! I missed you!"


No shyness here, she walked him to his seat and then came to sit on my lap and wait eagerly for her turn.


Fortunately she didn't have to wait long. When asked what she wanted for Christmas she replied, "A new doll for my mom. Oh! And one for me too."


Evie was barely audible, but asked for the same thing as the other two times we'd seen Santa this year. 
"An American Girl doll that looks like me."


Jake was playing it cool and very specific.
"A Nintendo3DS, black, not XL."
Because to him the XL (the bigger size) defeats the purpose of having a handheld gaming system. Santa didn't mind, the smaller version is a little less expensive...


Lila got a Minnie Mouse chap-stick in her stocking and was determined to use the entire tube in one sitting.


Evie got a Hello Kitty watch and felt so grown-up.

After the party wound down and people left we stayed and skyped with Josh, Elena and Huck and watched them open their Christmas Eve jammies. 


Then it was home to open our own jammies.


I particularly like the tee shirts I found for Brian and I this year. 
tee hee hee


We did our Christmas Eve toasts.


Lila kept rolling her eyes back in her head (that's how she closes her eyes when she prays too, cracks me up) and putting her hand over her heart to make a wish when it was her turn.


I caught her emptying the minuscule amount of bubbles left in my glass into hers. She reminds me of Tiff, not a single drop of sparkling cider can be left behind!


Last tradition, sprinkling magic reindeer food on the front lawn to feed Santa's reindeer. Then it was quickly off to bed to dream of sugar plums and presents!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A fun day out... well, fun-ish

One of the things that my kids got in their stockings this year was a gift card to Build-a-Bear. They seriously can't get enough of that place.(I think their love of it is inherited from their Grandma T.) Anyhow, Caitlin came down to spend her day off with us and we got the kids ready and headed out the door to spend the day at the Gateway Mall, including lunch and a movie.

First stop was Build-a-Bear. The kids each had their gift card, plus some money from Grandpa Dave, and were informed that they were allowed to spend as much or as little as they would like but that it would all be their own money. Jake was the only one that seemed affected by this pronouncement, as he always has a hard time making decisions when it comes to spending his own money. 

But after a (more or less) pleasant hour spent picking out bears and their clothing we left with the following: 

Jake chose a black and tan bear and dressed him in a pair of jeans and cool tee shirt, and picked out skates that can attach to shoes. He decided to save money and just use the skates on shoes that he already had at home. 

Evie chose a pink bear and dressed her in a hot pink and zebra pajama set complete with matching sleep mask.

Lila just got a new bunny less than a month ago as part of her birthday stuff, and so she chose a Rapunzel dress and shoes for her bunny. There was also a wig but I said no to having one more head of hair floating around the house turning into a snarled mess. This was apparently the meanest thing I have ever done to her. (I keep thinking that she's only three and we have a lot of years left to live together in which I will undoubtedly do something worse...) She finally pulled herself together at the threat of getting nothing at all and chose a stroller to push her bunny around in instead. 

We decided to eat lunch at the food court where everyone could pick what they wanted to eat. Things were going pretty well until Lila dumped her drink all over the floor underneath us and had another meltdown. 

At this point I decided that it wasn't worth trying to take them to the movie. Lila was so tired and distraught over everything I knew she most likely needed a nap. So we changed plans and decided to rent a couple of videos instead on the way home. 

It was fun afternoon knitting and watching a movie with Caitlin upstairs while the kids played and watched a kid show downstairs. 

The lesson for the day: Don't be afraid to be flexible, especially when dealing with a fractious toddler. 

Also, for blogging purposes, it is much better to actually take the camera out of your purse and use it while doing fun activities. A picture is worth a thousand words and all that...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

He's not the only slow one around here...

Our nighttime routine goes (mostly) like this: 

Put the kids to bed. 

Watch a couple of  TV shows off the DVR.

Get ready for bed. 

I can be in and out of the bathroom and tucked into bed in less than ten minutes. Brian's night time ablutions take between thirty to forty-five minutes, both because it's hard for him to get around and some nights he's just more OCD than others. So usually I go first and then read in bed while I wait for him. Lately I've been nodding off over my book. The other night as he came to bed I realized that I have been reading the same book for almost a week. (And it's less than five hundred pages, let's just say that's pretty unusual for me.)

I sighed in frustration and said,"It is taking me a ridiculously long time to read this book!" 

Brian asked, "What is it?"

I replied, "It's called Split Second."

It took me a good thirty seconds to figure out why he was laughing so hard. I really have to get to bed earlier...

Monday, December 26, 2011

I'm on vacation!

I can't seem to get over my lazy self to put together a proper blog post about our great Christmas. We had another great day as a family spending most of the day playing with all our new toys. (I've read three and a half books since yesterday! Apparently it goes even faster when you don't have to turn pages...) We went out and did a little shopping this evening and to dinner, and then to get me a new cell phone. Brian was so excited for me to get another new gadget for him to play with, and I think I seriously bummed him out by choosing to go with a basic model instead of a smart phone. I like my new phone though, it's green. :) Anyhow, I don't want to take the time to download all my pictures and do a longer post, because I want to get my children in bed and then snuggle up and watch a movie with my husband.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Short and sweet...

Oh my.
 We had the best Christmas EVER! 
A short list of the favorites:
Lila- a pink shopping cart and toy cash register
Evie- An American Girl doll that looks like her
Jake- Nintendo 3DS (in black)
Brian- an excuse to go to Cabela's in the form of a gift card
Chrissy- a Kindle! 
(I am being drug into technological advances against my will, but now that I've tried it I really kind of love it.)

Pictures and details about all the fun surprises and thoughtful gifts will have to wait, because I've downloaded about twenty books to my Kindle and I am going to snuggle up and read a good e-book...

Saturday, December 24, 2011

I want to see Christmas through your eyes...


Magic.
Pure magic.

Friday, December 23, 2011

I am so excited!

I don't remember the last time I looked forward to Christmas with such enthusiasm. 
Not since I was a little girl I think. 
And the reason why... surprises!
I love surprises. 
(Good surprises, like parties and flowers for no reason.)
This year, for the first time since I've been married, I do not know a single thing that I am getting for Christmas. 
There are three presents under the tree, painstakingly wrapped by little hands, with my name on them.
What's inside isn't the most important part either.
It doesn't matter if it is a handmade macaroni necklace or a bottle of perfume, a pair of slippers or the tackiest piece of costume jewelry you've ever seen in your life, I will love them all!
Because I didn't have to shop for it or wrap it myself.
Because my husband and my children bought me presents and put a lot of time and thought into them.
That makes me feel like the luckiest Mommy in the world already.
(And if one of them happens to be a sparkly blue scarf imported all the way from Idaho, I will still wear it proudly.)
I just love Christmas surprises!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Examining the difference....

Today has been wonderful. Just about the best day I can remember in a really, really long time. My children noticed it too. Several times today one or more of them would come up to me and tell me how happy they were or that they loved me so much and would give me a big hug. I got so much accomplished today too. The house is clean and Christmas ready. I made healthy and delicious meals, I even doubled the dinner recipe and made a freezer meal for later! I did laundry, washed, folded and put away! We did arts and crafts projects, we put together puzzles, and we colored. We turned off the television and listened to Christmas music all day. 

As I was folding the sixth batch of laundry I was reflecting on just why today was so different than our everyday life. Was it just an excess of Christmas spirit? Did someone sneak calm pills into the water? Had my children been replaced by much better behaved droids? No. The difference was me. I am calm. I am happy. I am not frantically trying to finish ten different things at the same time. I am not putting off spending time with my children. They have my complete attention. And guess what? They are calmer and happier too. There is a relaxing and welcoming spirit about our house that hasn't been here for awhile, and it feels so good to feel it again. 

I don't know why this is a lesson I have to keep learning over and over again... but apparently I do. That's why I am blogging about this, so next year when I've forgotten that the calmness begins with me and I am rushing around like a mad woman I can (hopefully) look back and remind myself. 

My children would rather have my time and attention putting together a puzzle than a hand-knit sweater to open on Christmas morning any day.

P.S. to me: You aren't going to have that many more years when they want your undivided time and attention, so use them wisely.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Christmas spirit has taken over my husband!

Brian's parents sent us some money to take the kids out to dinner for Christmas. They were very generous, which put Brian and I in a generous mood also. We told them we were going to go out as a special treat and they could pick anywhere they wanted to go. They choose Chuck-a-Rama. And to my utter shock and amazement, Brian agreed! (This is the first time in over eleven years of my knowing him that we have gone to Chuck-a-Rama together. And the experience was everything I ever dreamed it would be...) The kids thoroughly enjoyed their dinner. Brian didn't complain. I'm pretty sure I burned off most of the calories I ate as I had to wait on everyone in my family except Jacob. And the best part, we still have enough money to go out to eat as a family again... or perhaps Brian and I will sneak off for a date night at some place that has actual waiters and no indoor play lands.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A lovely change of pace...

This morning I woke up and began to rush. (Not freaking out, just rushing. To understand the subtle yet important distinction between the two you can read here.) I had to finish the second capelet so that my friend Myra could help me block it, which we were going to do yesterday but couldn't because of an unforeseen knitting emergency. (i.e. I misread the pattern and had to rip the stupid thing halfway back and re-knit it.) Also Caitlin was coming down so we could have a sewing party and slam out the Christmas jammies. The house that I had cleaned spotless on Friday was now a cluttered mess, including two days worth of dishes in the sink. (Because I've been dealing with knitting emergencies, and no one else felt moved to clean up around here I guess...)

Myra arrived shortly after I weaved in the last end, and very kindly pointed out that we would need the sink in order to block my knitting. No problem. I scrambled to unload and load the dishwasher. And just I was rinsing off the last dish and about to scrub the sink out, Evie came upstairs to inform me that there was water leaking out of the laundry room ceiling. "Like, a LOT of water Mom." (I may have started to freak out a little bit at this point.) I mopped off the top of my washer and dryer while I called Brian to demand he fix this problem request his help in finding a solution to this dilemma. Brian called a brother in our ward who is a plumber, and he was able to replace the section of pipe that was completely corroded. (There are not enough Thank You's in the world for Bro. Pease, he has been so kind and helped us so much over the past few months!) In the meantime, Myra blocked my knitting for me, Caitlin looked up information on the rash on Lila's face to see if I needed to take her to the doctor's, and I changed the twenty-seventh diaper of the day.

I could feel the rushing starting to become freaking out, so I made a very important decision. I went to the store and bought Christmas jammies for the kids. I feel good about this decision. I've received a lot of reassurance from my family to back it up. Caitlin (who also gave up the idea of sewing Christmas jammies this year) reminded me that the fabric will keep and we will can have a sewing party after Christmas just as easily. Jacob assured me that his Christmas will not be ruined if his jammies aren't sewn by me, although he did confess that he was hoping for green flannel pants with red holly berries on them this year. (Yeah, they weren't.) And Brian... he calmly agreed that it was a wise decision on my part. But he couldn't quite suppress the glee in his voice that tells me he was singing the Hallelujah Chorus on the inside and thinking, "The crazy Christmas crafting lady is gone!!!"

I just know that the money I spent on the jammies was worth every penny for the peace of mind it gives me. I can spend the next three days calmly and contentedly spending time with my kids, watching Christmas movies, tidying the house for the festivities, baking cookies for Santa, and enjoying the holiday without rushing from project to project. (Except for a couple of skirts for the girls, but I can make those super fast...)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Going to see the lights...

At Temple Square. 
It's one of my favorite Christmas traditions and we went with Brian's sister and her family this year.


It's always bitterly cold on the night we choose to go.


I think Evie looks like a garden gnome in this hat.


I fared much better this year as I had finally done some knitting for myself. Even though Evie borrowed my hat, I still had my head wrap and my awesome new mittens. My hands were a little chilly by the end of the night, but not frozen as in previous years.


Lila enjoyed the lights when she forgot that she was strapped into the stroller.


Jake kept running ahead to hang with his cousins, the only reason I got him to hold still for this shot is that he is actually standing on a wall that I let him climb.


A rare snapshot of all five of us together.


The reason for the season.

The crowds weren't so bad this year, so we got to see the Christus. It is absolutely my favorite place on Temple Square. To sit quietly at his feet for a moment and feel the love and peace of the spirit. The kids were talking about it and asking questions all the way home. One of the things we talked about was that the sculptor of this Christus was from Denmark where Brian's parents are serving their mission, and in their latest letter they told us how they went to a museum recently and saw a display about that sculptor and how he made this statue. I think it helps the kids to be able to find connections like this when they are missing their grandparents. 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

When I leave the camera laying around...

I often find random pictures and videos by my children. 

Yesterday I erased probably close to fifty shots of the TV playing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, close ups of various ornaments on our tree, and a not so flattering video of Jacob trying to grab the camera away from Evie because she didn't realize it was on the video setting. 
Nice.

For your viewing pleasure, these are the choice pictures I kept to embarrass my children when they are teenagers.


Evie, Self portrait.


Evie, Self portrait #2.


Evie's nostril, Self-portrait.


Lila, fairly normal.


Lila, praying for strength.


Lila, looking for her teeth.


Proof that they are playing with Kevin (my minion) when I am not around!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ye Olde Fun...

Caitlin, Patrick, Evie and I went to the Dickens' Festival today.
It was mostly shopping with some yummy fair food and people (mostly) dressed up as characters from Victorian England. The accents were also quite varied, everything from cockney and proper British, to Scottish. And the one that threw me the most, straight up pirate.



Caitlin got fish and chips, because you can't go all the way to England and not get fish and chips!


We took a carriage ride down to see Father Christmas.


But we settled for just seeing his reindeer instead.

Tonight we had our friends over for dinner and a movie night. 
The kids played downstairs and did arts and crafts.


Evie showed excellent problem solving skills when her crown wouldn't stay on her head.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The one with unagi...

10 bonus points if you got the reference of this post's title. Unless you are Dinee, in which case you only get 5 bonus points, because that's just too easy.

Today was one of those days where I rolled out of bed and started cleaning. And pretty much did nothing else, except for a little break here and there to pick up a child from school. (My own child, not random ones...) We had the people from the Assist program come back out and go over the blue prints they sent us, and talk some more about the changes that need to be made. I highly doubt that they would care if my house was messy or not, but I care. So I cleaned it. It feels good to have it done and will hopefully help my stress levels stay on the low side through the craziness of next week and the last minute Christmas preparations. 

After they left we took the kids over to my Dad's, who had graciously agreed to babysit while Brian and I snuck in a little time together in the midst of all the family and holiday celebrations. We went to the Mikado (because we had a gift card) and had a lovely, leisurely dinner. We also went and saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie that opened today. (I can't remember the last time I went to a movie on the opening day, but I am pretty sure it was before Jake was born...) I really enjoyed the movie, but realized after we left the theater that I have a splitting headache because of how loud they had the volume cranked. That makes me feel old. It made for some pretty exciting action scenes though!

Okay. Here's a clue if you are still puzzling over the title reference.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thinking out loud...

Days like today, when I just sit and stare at my computer screen for 20 minutes with no clue what to write about, make me long for the end of the month and my blog daily commitment to end. 


I am super proud of myself for replacing the fluorescent lights in my laundry room. Because it entailed driving to the store, purchasing replacement bulbs, hunting up the step stool, and figuring out both how to remove the old bulbs and put in the new ones (which I had never done before). Also, I dusted the tops of the lights. So. gross.

I thought that I could probably make some money by installing a web cam in my kitchen so people could watch me sing and dance as I put away my groceries and do the dishes. Not because I am very talented at either singing or dancing, but I have a sneaking suspicion I am quite entertaining... AFV style.

I spent a lot of time reading a thread on a mom's forum started by a mom who was complaining about the cheap gift someone gave her child when he was chosen off an angel tree. It made me very sad. And worried about if I am doing enough to teach my children to value the things they are given and about the true meaning of Christmas.

I am so grateful for the time my husband and children give me each week to go to my knitting night. It is a much needed break for me and is made extra special when I come home to a cleaner house than I left. (Of course, the children were all still up and running around... but you can't have everything.)

At the cookie exchange tonight someone brought delicious sugar cookies that are flavored with an unusual spice, and none of us could figure out what exactly it was. I kind of want Caitlin to try it and see if her opinion matches up with mine. But I'll be honest, there is no way those cookies are going to last until Saturday morning when I see her again...

I really need to get myself up early and to the gym. I ate way too many cookies tonight. But it would have been rude not to sample everybody's. Right?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Heaven is up there somewhere....

Today Evie and Lila came upstairs, and Evie was crying. I asked her what was wrong.

"The reason I'm crying is because I just really, really miss Grandma Kim."

Ouch. It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but the grief can still sneak up and take my breath away.

I sighed and said, "I know honey, I miss her too."

Lila nodded very mater-of-factly and said, "That is because she is very far away. Way, way up in outer space!"

Laughter after tears, always one of my favorite emotions.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Secret Asian Man...

This morning I stopped at the store on my way home from the gym. I like shopping in the early morning because you can hear the music over the P.A. system better when there are less people around. Sometimes I forget that I'm in public and start to sing along (or worse, I start shaking my groove thing) especially if it's a song I really like. Today they were playing an oldies station, which I love.

♫Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together♫

Then this song came on. 

And I just giggled. I do every time I hear it. Because my whole life I really thought the lyrics were Secret Asian Man. I still stand by that, if you listen to the original artist I swear that's what he's saying. When we were first married I was cleaning the house or and singing, like you do, and started singing this song. Brian laughed so hard at me. I laughed too, it's pretty funny.

P.S. I still sing it that way. Which will get you funny looks from the other people who like to shop early in the morning...

Monday, December 12, 2011

Yum, frosting...

Who knew there was a learning curve on how to eat a sugar cookie?


I could not convince Lila that eating the cookie and the frosting simultaneously was a good idea.


She had frosting from her eyebrows to her chin!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

1st Christmas

Tonight we went visiting after church. First to Pa Dave's where he graciously shared his dinner with us and we played some Phase 10 and got to see Caite and Patrick too. Then on to Grandma-great's and visiting with a good portion of the extended family. My Aunt Kristen was up visiting and brought my kids a bunch of toys that they are clearing out while getting ready to move. And when I say a bunch, I mean a whole lot! The kids helped me carry the boxes in the house and then went a little crazy digging through them and seeing what treasures they held. Both the girls spent the next hour playing with a toy castle that you can shoot cannon balls at. Jake went crazy when he found the old Game Boy and all the games. Brian laid down the law that the Game Boy has to stay upstairs when Jake goes to bed, so that he won't stay up all night playing with it. (I think it's that, and because Brian wants to play with it while the kids are in bed.) As we started packing up the toys the kids had spread all over the living room Brian said, "I should probably call Santa and tell him that we don't need any more toys for Christmas." Oh the wails of despair and denial that came from our children. Fortunately it was only a few months ago that we did a serious deep cleaning and de-junking of the kid's rooms and toys, so we can probably find homes for some of these new treasures and the odd Christmas present or two. Also fortunately, we had already decided to have a small Christmas this year.

P.S. Thank you Aunt Kristen and family. I guarantee these toys will be loved and played with a lot. You made my kid's night with your generosity.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Busy little elves...

It's been a very busy day. I got three Christmas projects finished, got presents mailed off, got a much needed haircut, took both of my girls shopping, and got all of that shopping wrapped and under the tree. Whew.


The best part of the day was spending time with my girls one-on-one. Evie is a fun shopping partner and she's is so excited about finding just the right present for each person in our family. Plus she is so funny, which I think gets overlooked a lot between her big brother's cleverness and her little sister's over the top personality. As we were waiting for our food tonight she turned to me out of the blue and said, "Dogs kiss you on the hand or anywhere because they just don't know where lips are." 

A little later she told me she wanted to get something for a gift for Lila. I reminded her that she already had picked out a gift for Lila and she rolled her eyes at me and said, "I me-an for next year."  I told her if she could remember it that far away then it was fine by me. She nodded and said, "I am a very good rememberer. I can even remember when I was born."  I laughed and said, "Oh yeah, what do you remember about when you were born?" She promptly replied, "Uh, I was born on my birthday." Like, duh. 

Lila and I went out again after dinner. Poor Lila didn't quite get the concept of shopping for other people. She thought I was the meanest mom to be buying presents for Dad, Jake and Evie but not for her. After the fourth time I gave up trying to explain the concept and more or less picked out what she's giving them myself. She was so tired she fell asleep at the second store and napped through the rest of our outing, which was quite pleasant for me. Now if we can just keep her from spilling the beans about what we bought before Christmas!

Friday, December 9, 2011

I've had the clever knocked right out of me...

Tonight we took the kids to see the new Muppet movie. It was some fun family time together and I was quite enjoying the movie, until about a half an hour in, when I leaned down to pick something up off the floor for Brian and smacked my forehead into the railing in front of me. Hard. Like I saw stars and a little bird circling my head kind of hard. And then I cried for the next five minutes because it hurt so dang bad. Fortunately the Muppets is the kind of movie where you can be out of it for five minutes and still follow the plot. Now I have a migraine, a goose egg, and I don't think I'm being overly dramatic when I say I'm quite possibly concussed. So if you'll excuse me I can't post any longer because I am practically incapacitated here!

P.S. Best part of the night was hearing Lila exclaim at the end of the movie, "That Kermit the Frog is ah-MAZE-ing!"


P.P.S. I teared up during The Rainbow Connection, but I can't be sure whether it was from a wave of nostalgia or because my concussion made me acutely light and sound sensitive.