Mima Kim

Today has been a really hard day. I haven't been sleeping well because Evie has been sick, and so she is up and down all night. I was waking up from a nap when my mom called and asked how the baby was doing and if they could watch Jake for the afternoon. I said that would be great (because who in their right-mind is going to turn down free baby-sitting?) What I didn't know is that my parents were on their way home from a doctor's appt. at the Huntsman Cancer institute. My mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer almost three years ago and has gone through several major surgeries and two 6 month courses of chemotherapy. A couple of days ago she had a routine check-up and screening, and the outcome is that the cancer is back. And the reality of the situation is that she really doesn't have that much time left. Six months to a year. She can say that without crying, I still can't. I know that she will be going home to be with all our loved ones who have gone before, her father, Grandma and Grandpa Madsen, Aunt Lynne. (Oh! I just had this mental image of her and Aunt Lynne reuniting, who do you think will stop talking first?)
But then I look at my babies and I am so sad that they won't have more time with her. And how do I explain to my sweet boy who prays every day that, "... Mima can get better from her cancer and that Daddy's legs will get strong again." that our prayers aren't always answered the way we want them to be. How do I prepare him for this separation with out overwhelming his 4-year old emotions. How do I answer his question, "Mommy, why are you sad?" I have never felt so overwhelmed as a mother, to be able to help him understand this life and the next one feels so daunting.
Mom- I want you to know that anything I do good as a parent is because of how I was parented. "Turning into my mother" wouldn't be such a bad thing for me. You are and always have been one of my best friends. Thank you for raising me to be capable of being a wife and mother to the best of my abilities. And thank you for being such a wonderful grandmother, there is a reason that Jake wants to spend every friday night at your house. We love you Mima!

Four Generations and Forever.