So in less than 2 weeks it will be the 1st anniversary of my mother's passing. I don't know how I will feel on the actual day, Feb. 9th. I don't know from day to day how I will feel. I have had several people ask me how I am feeling about it and if I have any plans. I do actually have one plan. I am going to cut my hair. I have been growing it out for almost three years now, and it is probably longer than I have had it since I was 5 years old. I am not a long haired kind of girl and for most of my life it has been shoulder length or shorter, now it is halfway down my back. I considered cutting this last summer, but realized if I could hold off for a few more months it would finally be long enough to donate. So that is my plan, to cut and donate my hair on the anniversary of my mother dying from cancer. Hmmm, that sounds kind of morbid stated so baldly... but I think it will help me feel like I am doing something constructive and honoring her spirit, instead of just sitting around feeling sad. Plus I think shedding this weight from my head and undergoing such a dramatic change will help me feel like I am starting fresh and ready to move forward. (I don't know know if you have to be a woman to understand that, but who doesn't love a makeover?)
I have had another idea that I would like to implement and I will need others help with this. One of my cousins has mentioned on more than one occasion that her mother (my aunt) really liked to be able to talk about her mother (my grandmother) and just hear and tell stories about her on the anniversary of her death. And then last night one of my mother's sisters posted on facebook something that my mom had written on her blog a couple of years ago. It made me smile to read the words my mom had written all that time ago, and realize how much sweeter they are now knowing what she was going through at the time.
So my idea, I would love to hear stories from anyone about my mom. Funny ones, happy ones, tender ones, anything. I know all my stories and memories of her, but I would love to read about how others remember her. My blog has comment moderation on it so I get to read them before they get published (that way I don't have people putting spam and ads on my blog...) So I am going to make a file in my email and not read any of them until the day of the 9th. Then I will publish them all at once. Reading each comment will be like unwrapping a present. So please take the time to leave a memory you have of her, even if you've never commented before. And please also put your relationship to her or how you knew her, i.e. friend, co-worker, cousin, ect. Leave as many as you like. This will be such a great gift to myself, my brother and sister, and especially her grandchildren who will get to know her through our memories of her. I think that she would like to see us celebrating her life and remembering her this way.
So I will start by sharing one of my memories. I was 8 years old and we had just moved to our new house in Centerville. It was Saturday night and I had just finished having a bath. My mom came in and helped me get out of the tub and towel off, and then was combing through my hair. She picked me up, wrapped in a towel and said she was going to carry me to my room. Which I thought was kind of odd, but sometimes parents just like to baby their kids. Instead she carried me outside on the front porch (it was almost dark) whipped off the towel and darted back into the house and shut the door! I was in such shock I just stood there naked for a moment before scrambling inside. And as I got older she could never understand why I was such a tease to my brother and sister, she always blamed my dad for teaching me to tease people...
I love you mom, and I miss you everyday.