Thursday, June 11, 2009

in-er-tia: noun

1.inertness, esp. with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.
a.the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force.

That about sums it up. I can't seem to over come this feeling of inertia lately. Every morning I wake up thinking of a list of things I am going to accomplish. All the laundry washed, folded and put away. (It's that critical last step that seems to be tripping me up...)

Cleaning the house, or at least the kitchen. A tragic design flaw of this house it that you can see the kitchen sink from the front door. (Obviously designed by a man...)

Or maybe count it as lucky that there are enough clean underwear and utensils to go around one more day and tackle the mounting pile of yarn and fabric I have such great plans for.

But every morning those grand ambitions dissolve as I stumble down the hall, trying to squint and blink at the same time to moisten my contacts so they won't pop out of my eyes, to make Lila's bottle and settle the first argument of the day. (Mickey Mouse vs. Tom and Jerry) We settle on the couch for the morning feeding and I hop on the computer for just a minute to check email and if anyone has posted anything new on their blogs. The next thing I know it is time for lunch and naps and then Brian is home and it's time to make dinner, and I look around at the laundry still sitting on the couch and realize that my kids are wearing the same pj's for the third day, and I wonder where the day went. How can I spend 24 hours feeling so busy and not accomplish anything?

I also realize that I could have cleaned my entire kitchen, including the floor, in the time that it has taken me to blog about not doing it. I just wanted to wallow for a minute. Now as an antidote for self-pity and inertia I will tell myself that I am really lucky to have a kitchen with electricity and running water and a fully stocked pantry and fridge to cook for my family in. And how ridiculous is it that we have more clothing than we can wear in a month, and complain about having to do the laundry. Which is turning a switch and pressing a button, not hauling it down to a river and beating it on a rock. I have the time and resources to pursue my hobbies that give me a creative outlet. And best of all I have these:

Three beautiful, healthy, happy children who are a source of amazement, humor, and love every day. The irony has not escaped me that I often lecture my children on the importance of taking care of their belongings and showing gratitude for what we have. I am reaffirming my good intentions of being a better steward over all that I have been given and overcoming the inertia that has been holding me back. But if you wanted to be an external force acting on me, I wouldn't mind some visitors...


Dinee said...

I got it-lunch can be at your house tomorrow! Just kidding. You don't need that extra pressure. I'm just glad to see your house gets messy too. And I agree, we are blessed to have to have so much stuff to create such messes!

Elena Loo said...

Thanks for the reminder of a good outlook. I know sometimes I need the reminder. You once told me the quote about
"Creative clutter is better than idle neatness."
So keep that in mind too. I wish days were longer sometimes though. IT doesn't seem like enough sometimes to barely get going and then need to make dinner.

JD said...

Just remember the hardest thing about intertia is starting. once you get going you can keep the pace nice and steady. I am suffering the same thing right now. So much to do and no motivation to do it. I really hate this limbo land we are in half way between living and leaving...oh well. We can all be better, take heart in that.

NAT said...

Great, great post! I totally get everything that you're saying and am glad that there are more Mommies out there who feel the same way that I do.

Amanda said...

You pretty much summed up most of my days, minus the bottle feeding. You're not the only one who is busy all day with "nothing" to show for it! Nothing tangible, anyway. That's why I like going to my children's well-checks at the doctor. It's an affirmation to me that, at least physically, all that "nothing" is adding up to something wonderful.

Sandra & Brent said...

No one can bring back memories for me like you can, Chrissy. I found a piece of writing the other day that I did when my kids were little . . . kind of a "day in the life" piece. It started out as a poem for Brent for Valentine's day and ended up being an explanation of why I didn't end up writing the wonderful love poem I'd intended to! I'll share it with you some time. You're doing great. Love ya, Sandra