Tuesday, October 6, 2009

This Holiday Season...


I saw a card today and almost bought it to send to my brother and his little family. It had a picture of a sad faced Frankenstein on the front and on the inside it said, "Without you here Halloween sucks." It made me chuckle and the sentiment seemed apropos on several levels this year. But then I heard my mom's voice in the back of my head saying, "Go make some magic for your children." (What she said to me last year when I was having a hard time wanting to celebrate Christmas.) And I had a bittersweet epiphany. Halloween won't suck this year. It will be different. I wish that we could all be together for a Family Fun Day of carving pumpkins and trick-or-treating. I wish that we could watch Huck cruise around in costume and see how he and Lila would dance with Frankenstein and get all sticky from tasting new treats. I will even miss listening to Josh quote every line of every Halloween movie we watch 2 seconds early. "Taffeta darling!" "Taffeta darling!".... And I know I will miss my mom coming to watch Jake's costume parade with me, and singing silly Halloween songs, and reading with great dramatic effect all the old favorite Halloween books to my kids that she used to read to us.

It would be so easy to dwell on what I will miss this holiday season, and really easy to slip into apathy and just wanting to skip the whole thing. I am determined not to do that, for my kids sake. They deserve to have happy, magical memories of the holidays. And I am going to give them that. We are going to decorate and celebrate our way into enjoying these moments. Even if I don't really feel like it. It's like that quote, "Love is a policy, not a feeling." This year in our house, holiday celebrations will be a policy. And even more than that, life will always bring us changes. Some we don't want. And we have to adapt to them. I know that Josh and Elena will be making wonderful, magical memories for themselves and Huck (and probably a lot of new friends, if I don't miss my guess...) as well as absorbing some great new traditions from back east. Heck, my brother can find a way to make Arbor Day a special holiday. I hope that we can do the same. Adapt and adopt traditions that will fit our changing family, but always remembering that family is the most important part of the holidays. I am looking forward to spending time with extended family and friends and also celebrating with just my own little family. It is a year of firsts for us, but it is still going to be magic. After all, I've got an angel on my side making sure I remember that.

6 comments:

April said...

Beautifully written, Chrissy. I remember thinking as a young mom even before my mom died, that I was responsible for making the magic and the traditions for my little girls. YOu are doing a great job and you will continue and watching the joy in your children's eyes will give you all you need to carry on.

Emilie said...

Good thing I haven't put make-up on yet....at least that way I don't have raccoon eyes from all the tears.


I have no doubt your children will feel the magic. No doubt at all.

Elena Loo said...

We will miss you guys too - already do! We'll miss seeing the kids in their cute costume, and running up the street with them to the Bellomy's and Diane's folks... :)
Carving pirate pumpkins, and eating too much candy for our own good while playing card games with Dave. We will miss all these things, and especially all the people. Make us proud Chrissy. We (including Mom) know you can do it,

Kamra said...

Beautiful Chrissy... thanks for writing that. I needed to hear that too. I hear your mom in my head alot steering me down the right path, when what I want to do is give up. Happy Halloween to the Telfords!!!!

Kim and Susan said...

Sigh...Well put. You are doing so well!!! But is it okay if I don't miss Josh quoting every line of every Halloween movie...? :) (And this is Susan BTW...even if Kim's email shows up!)

Lisa said...

Thanks Chrissy! I needed to read that tonight, and be reminded about the happiness that my children deserve regardless of how thinly stretched I feel. :)

You are very good at turning a tough moment into a meaningful, growing experience.