Anticipation

It's been one of those days. Where you are constantly moving, doing, going, and at the end of the day it feels like you haven't gotten anything done.  Today has been spent getting ready for my brother to take some family pictures tomorrow. Lots of time driving around trying to find a good spot, lots of time trying to coordinate outfits, doing laundry, getting haircuts, planning, planning, planning, all to pull together a photo shoot that will look natural and spontaneous.  It's a little silly how much work it takes to make something look effortless. (I hope.)  And if the weather doesn't cooperate, well I am sure Josh can make stringy hair look artistic...

The Secret of Life (or how to be truly happy...)

I know what you are thinking, "Whoa! Are you sure you want to go there in the first week of January?! Slow down! Pace yourself..."

It's just that this has been a frequent topic of conversation between me and my son the last few days, and it's made me do a lot of thinking.  The whole idea started a couple of days ago when I made a firm stand and told Jake that he would be cleaning the toy room (to my standard*) before the night was through.  It is never a fun job, and add to it the fact that we have all the new toys from Christmas that haven't quite settled into their new home, well I guess he felt it was overwhelming.


*As a side note I would like to say that the whole "to my standard" level of clean is of course taking his age and skill level into account.  I never ask my children to do something I know they won't be able to be successful at, but I also think it's important to stretch their abilities whenever possible.

After three or four "breaks" where he would come and complain to me about how tired he was or how he had hurt his leg at recess, he finally came upstairs visibly upset and trying to not cry.  I asked him what was wrong already having a pretty good idea that he was feeling unfairly put upon because his sisters weren't downstairs cleaning with him.  (Another side note, Jake often prefers to work alone rather than have one of the girls helping him, which most often equates to them coming along behind you and undoing everything you've just done...)  I was right. Jake was really upset that he had to clean up the whole toy room when, as he said, "I hardly made any of the mess and the girls did ALL of it!"

I was actually glad to hear him say that. Let me explain. Jake is such a tender heart and it is very hard for him to verbalize when something is upsetting him, because he wants to avoid conflict at all costs. (A trait that he gets from his father, trust me... if I get upset you will for sure know it and know why.)  It took some carefully leading questions on my part to get him to open up and let those upset feelings have a voice.  But it was good because I could then acknowledge and validate that it wasn't fair and yes, it did indeed suck, that he had to clean up a mess he didn't make. (And I don't have to tell you moms out there how hard I bit my tongue to keep from pointing out the irony of any child making that complaint...)

And then we got to the secret of true happiness.  I told him that even though it wasn't fair... at all... even a little bit... he still had to clean the toy room.  And that really he had two choices, to stay mad and angry at the unfairness of it all, or to choose to be happy and think about how he was performing a great act of love and service to me.  I also told him that if he remembered anything about this conversation I wanted it to be this: The ONLY thing you have any control over in this life is how you react to the world around you. You can't control the world, or the weather, or other people, or even what emotions you'll feel. But you can choose how you will respond to them in any given situation.  And I believe that true happiness comes when you let go of having an expectation of control and just enjoy the journey.

I know. I'm deep like that.

Back on the cleaning wagon...

I decided that I don't have to give up my resolution to get back to my old cleaning system just because it took me a few days to get going on it.  It definitely feels overwhelming right now as every room in my house looks very much as if a bomb has gone off in them. But the habit I am trying to get back to is doing a little bit everyday because:
A) I found that the whole house stayed cleaner longer when everyone did their daily jobs.
B) Then I don't have to take a muscle relaxer after a marathon bout of cleaning.
We started today with the living room and I took some before and after shots so that I can look back at them when I need some motivation to keep going in the rest of the house.
                                                                                                      

Not bad for about three hours worth of work.  All of my Christmas decorations are down and packed away, the room is dusted, vacuumed, and ready for the Valentine's decorations to go up. My other goal is to get the house in order so I can start to tackle some home decor projects I have had in mind for the last three years.  Things like curtains and artwork that give a home that "finished" feeling, and possibly even a modest make-over in the girls' room. But it's awfully hard to design in clutter, so I am doing the not fun parts first and then I'll reward myself with some creative time!

Determined

Before I start tonight's blog post I need to take a minute and address a rather.... ironic phone message I received yesterday. My sister was bored at work and called to remind me that I hadn't posted anything new for the day.  Really, Caitlin? You are telling me to post more often?  How about you post more than once every three months? Or even leave a comment on here every now and then?!  :P  Thanks for being my personal Jiminy Cricket, you goof!

We are snackers in this house. Sometimes it feels like all my kids do all day long is ask me for food.  I don't really mind because they still eat really well at meals and they are usually asking for fairly healthy things.  The big concern for me is trying to teach them moderation. Especially Lila. She is on a fruit kick right now and would eat an entire bag of Clementines if I would let her.  

Today was no exception and after the third orange I told her no more. I didn't realize just how determined a little person she could be.

I heard a strange, slightly wet noise and came into the kitchen to find Lila peeling her own orange.

I asked her what she was doing and she told me, "Peeling mine orange."  (She always sounds German when talking about something that is hers, and like a wise-guy from Jersey when talking about someone else's belongings, "That yous knitting?" "That yous dolly?")

Relieved that I wasn't going to stop her from reaching her goal she kept on with the task at hand. (I figured I had to reward such a show of self-reliance and ingenuity.)

She really likes fruit. 

Snuggling the peeled orange.

Ah well, contraband always tastes sweeter doesn't it?

My lesson for the day: Put the oranges out of reach.

Starting out all over the map...

Today was the first day back to out regularly scheduled programming after the nice long holiday break.  For some reason there was a real disconnect in my brain about the reality of that. We got the kids to bed only an hour later then their regular bedtimes, but much earlier then they had stayed up for many nights of the break. Because, of course, they would have to get up earlier then we had been to get to school on time. Logical, right? But then Brian and I stayed up and watched a movie, not making the connection that we would have to get up earlier too.

And some bonus movie points for anyone who can guess the movie from this quote: "You are everything I never knew I always wanted." Good line. When I was a romantic teenager I would complain to my mom that the movies just set you up for disappointment because boys don't have cleverly scripted dialogue in real life. One of the ways that I knew Brian was the one was when he told me I was "the whole package, smart and pretty."  It was the closest thing to a quotable line I had ever heard from a boy... um, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Good movie. Bad decision.

Anyway, fast forward to this morning when the alarm seemed to go off at an unreasonably early hour. We I only hit the snooze button once.  I am very proud of that.  We weren't even late getting everyone where they needed to be.  And Lila and I were very industrious and accomplished grocery shopping, getting my glasses fixed (Lila had bent the frames while ever so helpfully trying to "hand" them to me the other morning, by way of trying them on repeatedly...), and getting the January selection for my book club from the library.  We got home, put away the food, then it was time to go pick up Evie.  And I completely ran out of steam... at 11:00 am! I had grand plans of starting my daily chore chart and that would mean cleaning the living room today and putting away the Christmas decorations. Didn't happen.  I started to read my book instead, it is very funny and enjoyable, but after ten minutes or so I would start to nod off.

Now, an intelligent person would probably have deduced that a power nap might be the best way to salvage the afternoon.  I was apparently too tired to be intelligent.  I got the girls lunch and then settled Lila for a nap, drifting off again for a few minutes myself. Then I decided I'd better finish the sweater I want Jake to wear for our family pictures this Saturday.  Did you know there is such a thing as sleep-knitting.  I don't recommend it. You pretty much have to rip out everything that you knit while dozing.  Being that relaxed just plays havoc with your gauge...

I thought after picking Jake up from school that I would let the kids play for a little bit and then we would start on the living room. And then I didn't. And then it was time to make dinner. I had just pulled everything on to the counter and started to scrub the potatoes when my MIL called to see if we would help them eat a casserole that she had made for dinner, not realizing until after it was assembled and in the oven that it served eight.  I happily agree to help her out and put everything back in the fridge and laid down to read my book again in the now extra thirty minutes that I wouldn't have to be cooking dinner.  And promptly fell asleep.

Now to the point of my fuzzy-headed ramblings.  There have been several times through out the day where I have thought, "Great. Three days in and I've blown how many of my resolutions?"  and then I thought, "Well, I guess that's why it's a good idea to make multiple resolutions, so you can still succeed at some if you fail at others..."  but my final thought is, "It's only day three. I don't have to give up completely because I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to today. And why, for heaven's sake, is this something I am still learning at the advanced age of ... over thirty."

"Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it."  Tonight I am going to bed.

A new Sunday schedule...

Last year it took us a good five or six months to figure out just how long it takes our family to get ready and out the door to church. Somewhere around eight or nine months into the year we actually started getting there early enough to get a seat before the meeting started.  This year church starts two hours later than it did last year.  

We were late. 

I know math is not my strong suit, but it seems to me that something is wrong with that equation.  We didn't add more bodies to dress or more heads of hair to style.  We don't live any further away than we did last year.  I need to figure this out, because with more than half a day to get ready there is really no reason to be rushed, let alone late.  I also need to start having dinner prepared so it can cook while we are at church, instead of coming home with three four, okay, five tired, ornery, and hungry people and making them wait for food.

The down side to having church so late in the day? No naps.

I am resolved...

...to start making this year's Christmas presents starting tomorrow.

...to be part of reading a million pages.

...to try to count to ten a little slower when dealing with my children.

...to say "no" less and "yes" more when they ask me to play with them.

...to show them everyday that they are more important than anything else going on in my world.

...to be a better wife and occasionally ironing some of my husband's work shirts.

...to get a current family portrait taken.

...to knit something for myself that isn't a pair of socks.

...to not have ANY library fines this year.

...to reinstate the daily chores system that worked this summer, so my house is always ready to have friends over.

...to have friends over more often.

...to make sure I stay healthy and strong enough to take care of my family.

...to write a post on this blog every day.

I am trying to decide whether the ironing or the no library fines is the more unrealistic goal for me...