A Posthumous Apology

*Originally written on Saturday, May 29th*


Mom, I owe you an apology.  I woke up this morning and just couldn't take the cluttered and dirty state of my house.  So I did what any self respecting mother with a captive workforce family would do.  I drew up a list of the chores I wanted to accomplish today and then sat the family down and asked them which ones they would like to be in charge of.  I was very careful in my tone of voice and my body language to not be dictatorial, and I didn't waste any time assigning blame as to just who was responsible for which messes.  I was a cheer leader, a motivational speaker getting them revved up for the rewards that came after, a general massing her troops for action!  And we went to it with vigor and verve...   for about 30 minutes.

Then I found myself saying things that I swore I would never say.  Things like, "If you would just put it away where it goes the first time, then you wouldn't have to keep picking the same thing up!"  and "Hey! If I have to do everything by myself then this is going to take a very long time!"  and the infamous "A place for everything and everything in it's place."  At one point of explaining to my children for the umpteenth time why we cannot just vacuum up large chunks of Play-dough and Legos, I flashed back to an unspecified point in my childhood where you and I were standing in the middle of my cluttered bedroom and you were (more or less) patiently explaining exactly what standard of clean would be accepted before I was allowed to escape go play for the day.  I looked around our playroom, then looked at my children and said, "This room has corner-itis!"  I then gasped and clapped my hands over my mouth.  I cannot believe I actually used that word in my own home!

And so Mom, I am sorry. I am sorry for the years that you had to deal with my feet-dragging and my whining and my saying I would do a chore and then promptly and conveniently forgetting my promise.  I am sorry for my less than cheerful attitude and my down right sullen complaining during the weekly clean up.  But thank you for not giving up when it would have been easier to do it all your self than deal with ornery children.  Thank you for teaching me the skills I would need to raise my own family and instilling in me an appreciation for the peace that comes when your house is not in chaos.  And I'll thank you to not fall off your cloud laughing the next time you hear me parrot back at my children what used to make me roll my eyes when you said it to me...