Thursday, June 2, 2011

A little blue...

Today I planted some flowers in my yard and thought a lot about my mom. 

Several people, including myself, have commented how much like my mother I've become in the last four months. I'm now a regular at the gym, and I actually enjoy it. I got a haircut, and it looks a lot like hers used to. I spent several hours in the past two days doing yard work and found it really rather pleasant.

I wish that I could have shared these interests with her a couple of years ago. I wish I'd made the effort to get up and go workout when she was the one teaching it. I wish I'd paid more attention as she shared her knowledge of plants and all their Latin names. I wish that we'd had more time.

It's left me in a strange place, emotionally speaking. I feel more connected to her than I have for awhile, but that in turn opens me up to missing her more and feeling sad about it. I don't know what to call it. Bittersweet, I guess. I suppose I'll just have to take another page out of her play book and see if playing in the dirt is as healing for me as it was for her. 


Dinee said...

I have found yardwork to be rather therapeutic for me this year. It gives me time to ponder about life and try to figure it all out. If you want any help, give me a call. I'm certainly not an expert, but I am getting good at pulling weeds and digging holes.

Emilie said...

I found myself thinking about you earlier tonight. Now I know why.

Specifically I was thinking about you missing your mom.

I wish I had some advice or wisdom, but I find myself with only hugs and love to offer.

I am sorry you are missing her.

April Weeks said...

Chrissy, I have had the very same thoughts as you have expressed. I wish I would have asked my mom more questions about her life. What she felt at this time or that time. I feel like I didn't spend enought time just talking about her. I can't wait to find out all the things I don't know when I get to talk with her again.