Friday, July 1, 2011

A tender mercy

Everything isn't quite ready yet, but I am happy to report that the kitchen floor is no longer either sticky or crunchy. So, that's progress. Tonight we had the opportunity to go to the temple for another of my cousin's (his fiancee's, actually) endowments. I'll be honest, somewhere around the time that I was realizing that I'd have about 10 minutes to get ready and leave to be there on time, and the amount of work that I still had to accomplish, I started really considering excuses. But I really wanted to go to the temple and I knew that Brian did too. So in the end, I stopped mid-sweep, hung up my broom and went and got ready.

We made it in plenty of time and as I was sitting and waiting for the session to start I was just contemplating life and my son and the big milestone that he is hitting tomorrow. I started thinking about when he was 2 years old, and my mom's cancer was back after the first remission. I was talking to my dad on the phone and having a grieving moment. I was feeling sad that my mom most likely wouldn't be around when Jake graduated high school, went on a mission, or got married. My dad listened to me talk about those things and then gently pointed out that she most likely wouldn't be around when Jake got baptized.

I felt sad again thinking about how much I missed her and how badly I wished she was here to share this special event with us all. And then I got an overwhelming feeling of love and assurance that she is sharing it with us. She is very aware of how special tomorrow is and she is so proud of her first born grandchild. It was a powerful and wonderful reminder to me that my family is forever.

I am grateful for the reminder to slow down and focus on the spirit and the meaning of the day tomorrow, instead of worrying about when and how everything will happen.  I think it will be a beautiful day.


April Weeks said...


Dinee said...

I didn't read your post until now but I thought about your mom quite a bit while at Jake's baptism. It was a wonderful occassion today and I felt that while people were missing your mom, she wasn't missing out on a thing.