Tonight as he was getting ready for bed, Jake mentioned that he was feeling worried about his SEP tomorrow. (SEP = Parent/Teacher conference) A little while later he mentioned it to his dad too. And then he mentioned it a couple of more times. Finally after we got the girls to bed we sat down to talk to him and try to figure out just what it was that had him so worried. His big concern was a class project about animals where they made a book. Jake feels he doesn't have very good gluing skills, because in one part of his book he glued a couple of pages together and when he tried to pull them apart a page ripped quite badly. He is worried that he will get a bad grade on it.
My first thought was, "Really? I don't have the emotional resources for this kind of drama right now..."
Then I opened my mouth and lovingly told Jacob that neither his father or I care what grade he gets, as long as he earns it honestly and is trying his very best. I know there was an angel sitting on my shoulder, helping me find the right words to tell him we will always be proud of him and talking him calmly through his worries and fears.
I was not in a good frame of mind earlier this evening and if you had told me that I would be having one of these talks with Jake later on I probably would have growled.... or muttered... or said something I shouldn't. But once we started to talk the irritation and short temper disappeared, to be replaced with a patient and loving voice. Honestly it was a little "body-snatcher"-ish. But I am grateful for the tender mercy of someone putting kind words in my mouth when I didn't think I had any kind words left to give.
I am determined to spend this week letting go of my expectations and just loving my family the way they are. Because the way they are is pretty darn good.
Let me set the scene for you. 9:30 at night. Three very tired children, including a toddler with slight fever and a bad attitude, have been drug from store to store to look at boring furniture and televisions displays...
Today I cleaned out my front closet. I also cleaned my microwave. These two things don't really have anything to do with each other, except for the fact that they are both niggling little chores that seem to be put off for years at a time. (The closet, not the microwave... that would be too gross for words.) But tonight I will sleep better knowing that just outside my bedroom door is the hallway, and immediately adjacent to that hallway is my living room, and tucked in the corner of my living room is my front closet, which is now cobweb free and neatly organized. The fact that there are no clean towels in the house is a problem for another day...
That is how I would sum up Lila's attitude lately. I don't remember my other two being so strong willed at this age. A perfect example is how she learns. I know that she is a dang smart cookie. I have heard her count to ten, correctly name shapes and colors, and even recognize most numbers and letters. However, she will not do so on demand, or even on request. She is no one's preforming monkey, this one. And frequently she will answer a question by me incorrectly, just to try and get under my skin. I can see it in her eyes.
Case in point. Today she came upstairs for a diaper change (and when I say "she came upstairs" what I really mean is she came kicking and screaming being carried by her brother who had pulled her off of the television for the 37th time and thought she needed a diaper change...) carrying a small plastic cow in one hand and a pig in the other. Our conversation while I was changing her went like this:
Me: What do you have there?
Lila: A horse.
Me: That's not a horse, silly girl, that's a cow.
Lila: Oh. This cow.
Me: Right. What does a cow say?
Lila: Rrrrooooaaaar!
Me: No. A cow says moo.
Lila: No. Cow no say moo. Cow says rrrrroar! And this not cow, this horse.
Me: Fine. What does a horse say?
Lila: Moo.
Me: (deciding to change the subject) What's this animal?
Lila: Pig.
Me: Right! What does the pig say?
Lila: boink boink boink
Clearly I have failed as a mother by not singing Old McDonald Had a Farm enough with this child. I hope she isn't held back through life by an inability to correctly recognize and reproduce animal noises...
So I realize from the comments to the last post that not everyone knew that I have a, um, unreasonable fear of deer.
When I was a teenager my cousins, Emilie, Catherine, and I spent a weekend down in Delta with our cousin Sarah. I think it was over spring break. Anyhow, if you've ever been to Delta you know it is a pretty rural area where you have to make your own entertainment. And we did, we spent most of our time outdoors, riding their horses and four-wheelers, exploring and just hanging out. Then one day a huge rainstorm blew in. Heavy enough of a storm that we needed to stay inside. So Sarah pulled out a big plastic storage tote filled with books, and we all spent the afternoon draped over couches and each other, reading. (I kind of have a picture in my mind's eye that it's what a litter of puppies would look like, if puppies read books...) One of the books I read was a collection of scary stories. I don't remember who the author was, but one of the stories was about a small town back east, who had a notorious, curvy road where many deer were hit by cars and killed. So the deer decided to take their revenge by stealing the souls of the town's children and then going on that road so the parents would hit the deer and and then find out they had killed their own child's soul. Creepy, right? There was a particular scene where the author described the way the deer's reflective eyes locked onto the child's and pulled their soul away. Ever since, I find deer rather disturbing. I am not one who likes to stop and ooh and ahh when there are deer in someones' yard. I'm just busy not making eye contact with them.
When Brian and I were first engaged he was driving me home late one night, and he suddenly pulled to the side of the road and pointed to my window and said, "Chrissy! Look!" I turned to see several deer only a few feet from the car. I screamed and locked the door! I know, Brian just about wet himself laughing at me too. It wasn't that I thought the deer could actually open a car door. I didn't think at all, it was just a reaction. Brian didn't know that I was afraid of them at the time. He's been very sweet about protecting me from them ever since.
Once, when we were house hunting he went ahead of me into the master bedroom. He took one step in, then quickly turned and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Don't freak out. There is a very large deer head mounted on the wall in here." I appreciated the warning so I didn't scream and scare the unsuspecting real estate agent. I couldn't repress a shudder or two though. I don't know how anyone could sleep knowing that those black, soul-less eyes were staring down on them all night. I couldn't.
I have gotten better over the years. I don't scream on sight anymore. I don't want to pass this on to my kids. Jake however thinks it is hilarious that I am afraid of deer and is very quick to point them out to me with a comment like, "Mom. There are some deer over there. But don't worry, I don't think they saw you..." Smart-mouth child. We actually have deer in our yard pretty regularly in the winter. The worst experience was last year, I was talking to Brian on the phone and I started to take the garbage out. I stepped out on the porch and then down the steps to the sidewalk before I realized that there were four, great big deer standing in my yard! I froze, I made eye contact and just froze! Poor Brian, one moment I was chattering away and the next it was silent. He kept saying, "Chrissy? Are you there? Hello?" Finally I whispered, "There are deer. Right here. Looking at me. What do I do?" He really is very patient with me. He talked to me and kept me calm as I backed slowly into the house and set the dead bolt. I am telling you if one of those deer had moved my neighbors would have been treated to the sight of me running screaming down the street with garbage flying everywhere.
I know it's unreasonable. I'm working on it. Baby steps.... We went to Cabelas, where they have a rather impressive taxidermy display. And awhile ago I saw some deer by my in-law's, so I pulled over (not on the same side of the street though) and just took deep breaths. And finally going to Bear World and being in the petting zoo with the baby deer. I didn't touch them, but I didn't run screaming either. I feel like that is progress...
Last week we had one of those mornings. You know the kind. Someone hit the snooze button before someone else was awake, so everybody overslept and was late getting out the door...
Sooo, I don't really know what to post tonight...
Our weekend is over and now I have to return to the regularly scheduled programming...
If Lila climbs into bed with us tonight I will be very sad (and no doubt sore) in the morning...
We watched three movies on our weekend, and I was a little disappointed by all of them...
I was especially disappointed by True Grit. I had heard nothing but good reviews about it, and I mostly enjoyed it until the end. Which I felt basically added up to "Life sucks, then you die." Kind of a downer...
Some of our anniversary weekend was spent learning more about the difference between LED and LCD televisions then I ever wanted to know...
We went to have a fancy dinner at the Market Street Grill. Due to a massive headache I had bread and water, Brian had an appetizer...
We were going to go for a nice leisurely drive today to round out our nice leisurely weekend. Until I woke up early and spent the morning throwing up...
We went and had dinner at my dad's and hung out a bit before picking up the kids. Lila was crying when we arrived, because she was in a time out for pushing Evie off a chair. Evie started crying after we'd been there for about half an hour, because she finally realized that she had missed us the last two days. Jake cried when it was time to leave, because he really didn't want to come home...
I'm pretty sure that Caite and Patrick are going wait a little longer to have kids after having mine for the weekend...
And yet for all that it was a good weekend because I got to spend time with my husband. And I bought a book about a woman who knit a sweater. I'm such a party animal...
This is actually yesterday's post. We stayed out really late...
For our anniversary Brian and I are having a stay-cation. Our wonderful families took our children for the weekend and we are spending our time going to movies, eating out and window shopping. Basically just enjoying each other's company with no schedule and no plan. Just setting out and seeing where the day takes us. We are having a wonderful time, and it's been a nice break from being "Mom and Dad" and just being "Chrissy and Brian". It's good to remember that you really do like spending time with your significant other with no distractions.
-I will always be happy to take you to the library. I am glad you are as excited as I am to read new books.
-Don't run around and yell, that is (quite literally) frowned upon.
-If you can't find it, ask the librarian to help you. That's why they are there.
-You don't need to pull every book off the bookshelf to show me. I can see it just fine while it's on the shelf.
-I will hold all library cards until the very last second before we check out the books, then I will hand it to you so you can hand it to the librarian. So stop asking for it.
-You may check out as many books as you are years old. So yes, I can check out a lot. And no, you don't need to tell everyone else in line how many books I am old.
*Three weeks into the new year and no library fines. That's gotta be a record...
Yesterday I blogged twice.
Tonight while we were visiting my Grandma, she pulled out her Christmas cards and let the girls play with them. Evie especially was really enjoying laying them all out on the coffee table and looking at the pictures on the front. We started to ask her who was in the picture? "Baby Jesus and Mary" Who's that? "Santa Claus!" You get the idea.
She was a little stumped by a stylized picture of the three wise men and so we started to give her some hints.
"How many of them are there?"
"Three."
"Right! And what are they wearing on their heads?"
"Crowns."
"Right. And see what they are holding in their hands?"
Evie paused for a moment, and Jake came up behind her and said, "Oh yeah. Those are gifts of murph, gold and... um, finklestien, right?"
Sounds like a law firm, Gold, Murph, and Finklestien.
The following is a transcript of a written conversation between Jacob and his Aunt Caitlin:
Jake: Let's pass secret notes. Please reply then pass back behind couch.
Caite: What kind of secrets should we share?
Jake: Like the ones that spys do.
Caite: I don't know what kind of secrets spies have? There's a secret nuclear reactor exactly 12.5 miles north of Traverse City, Michigan.
Jake: Do we destroy it?
Caite: Not on purpose, I should think... What other options do we have? World domination perhaps?
Jake: As long as a city is eliminated.
Caite: Which city should we pick?
Jake: Well, I think we should pick the location of the nuclear reactor... thingy.
Caite: So... Traverse City, Michigan?
Jake: Yes... that's it!
Caite: Okay, well you go ahead and plan that then.
Jake: Please read the following:
