Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Why I fear deer.

So I realize from the comments to the last post that not everyone knew that I have a, um, unreasonable fear of deer.

When I was a teenager my cousins, Emilie, Catherine, and I spent a weekend down in Delta with our cousin Sarah. I think it was over spring break. Anyhow, if you've ever been to Delta you know it is a pretty rural area where you have to make your own entertainment. And we did, we spent most of our time outdoors, riding their horses and four-wheelers, exploring and just hanging out.  Then one day a huge rainstorm blew in.  Heavy enough of a storm that we needed to stay inside. So Sarah pulled out a big plastic storage tote filled with books, and we all spent the afternoon draped over couches and each other, reading.  (I kind of have a picture in my mind's eye that it's what a litter of puppies would look like, if puppies read books...) One of the books I read was a collection of scary stories. I don't remember who the author was, but one of the stories was about a small town back east, who had a notorious, curvy road where many deer were hit by cars and killed.  So the deer decided to take their revenge by stealing the souls of the town's children and then going on that road so the parents would hit the deer and and then find out they had killed their own child's soul.  Creepy, right?  There was a particular scene where the author described the way the deer's reflective eyes locked onto the child's and pulled their soul away.  Ever since, I find deer rather disturbing. I am not one who likes to stop and ooh and ahh when there are deer in someones' yard. I'm just busy not making eye contact with them.

When Brian and I were first engaged he was driving me home late one night, and he suddenly pulled to the side of the road and pointed to my window and said, "Chrissy! Look!"  I turned to see several deer only a few feet from the car. I screamed and locked the door! I know, Brian just about wet himself laughing at me too. It wasn't that I thought the deer could actually open a car door. I didn't think at all, it was just a reaction. Brian didn't know that I was afraid of them at the time.  He's been very sweet about protecting me from them ever since.

Once, when we were house hunting he went ahead of me into the master bedroom. He took one step in, then quickly turned and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Don't freak out. There is a very large deer head mounted on the wall in here." I appreciated the warning so I didn't scream and scare the unsuspecting real estate agent. I couldn't repress a shudder or two though. I don't know how anyone could sleep knowing that those black, soul-less eyes were staring down on them all night.  I couldn't.

I have gotten better over the years. I don't scream on sight anymore. I don't want to pass this on to my kids.  Jake however thinks it is hilarious that I am afraid of deer and is very quick to point them out to me with a comment like, "Mom. There are some deer over there. But don't worry, I don't think they saw you..." Smart-mouth child. We actually have deer in our yard pretty regularly in the winter.  The worst experience was last year, I was talking to Brian on the phone and I started to take the garbage out. I stepped out on the porch and then down the steps to the sidewalk before I realized that there were four, great big deer standing in my yard! I froze, I made eye contact and just froze! Poor Brian, one moment I was chattering away and the next it was silent. He kept saying, "Chrissy? Are you there? Hello?" Finally I whispered, "There are deer. Right here. Looking at me. What do I do?"  He really is very patient with me. He talked to me and kept me calm as I backed slowly into the house and set the dead bolt.  I am telling you if one of those deer had moved my neighbors would have been treated to the sight of me running screaming down the street with garbage flying everywhere.

I know it's unreasonable. I'm working on it. Baby steps.... We went to Cabelas, where they have a rather impressive taxidermy display. And awhile ago I saw some deer by my in-law's, so I pulled over (not on the same side of the street though) and just took deep breaths. And finally going to Bear World and being in the petting zoo with the baby deer. I didn't touch them, but I didn't run screaming either.  I feel like that is progress...

7 comments:

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry to have been an inderect cause of this fear. I loved reading the sweet stories of how Brian has helped you through this though. :)

Lynae said...

Oh, Chrissy :) That's hilarious and adorable at the same time!

Emilie said...

"There are deer. Right here..."

Best.line.ever.

I can hardly type for all the tears of laughter.

Amanda said...

I will never look at the deer sneaking around our neighborhood the same anymore. And I will definitely hide out and watch the show if I see any in your front yard. For the record, Noelle Pease shares your fear.

Sandra & Brent said...

Okay . . . I get it now!

Megs said...

I know I shouldn't make light of your "cervaphobia" (I just made that up for you...) but that was the best thing I've read in AGES!!

Brian sure is sweet to protect you :)

JD said...

I now know what to get you for your birthday and christmas for every year from here on out...bambi-hater.