"It's all in the timing"

All my life I've heard my dad say that about comedy and being funny;  "It's all in the timing."

This was tonight's car conversation:

Jake: Hey Dad. I'm going to tell you a joke, okay?

Brian: I'll probably regret this, but okay.

Jake: What did the carrot say to the football?

Brian: What?

Jake: I don't "root" for teams!

silence from the front seat...

Jake: Get it? 'Cause a carrot is a root vegetable?

Me: Oh we get it Jake, it's just not funny.

Then followed a ten minute conversation on how simplicity and timing are the keys to being funny, and how if you have to explain your joke then it isn't really funny. Jake told us several "jokes" and was (kindly) shot down each time. Then this happened:

Jake: Okay, let me try again.

Me: Again, son, it would be better if you just told the joke rather than announce that you are going to tell a joke...

Jake: So a man walks up to a security guard and the security guard says, "I'm going to need to measure your pocket knife." So the man hands him the pocket knife and then the security guard takes out a yard stick and measures it and then says, "I'm sorry this knife is too long." So the man throws the pocket knife in the trash, pulls out another one and says, "How about this one?"

another moment of silence...

Me: Nope. Not funny.

Brian: Not only was that not funny, it wasn't even a joke. It was more of a story.

Jake: Man. All of my jokes get killed in sub-committee...

I laughed so hard I had to pull over.